Self Confidence, please, NOT Arrogance!
Hope you enjoyed Part One, and are now sold on yourself.
Let’s now try and seek answers to an oft asked question – how can one come across as self confident without appearing arrogant?
The assumption behind this question seems to be that recognising one’s self-worth is at odds with being humble.
Starting point – rest assured - confidence has nothing to do with being arrogant. People who are arrogant, or who at least, come across as arrogant, aren’t confident at all – if anything, they actually lack confidence. That’s why they are overbearing – it’s to compensate for the deficit.
For the same reason, overconfidence has nothing to do with confidence. Overconfidence refers to the state of being pompous and full of yourself, while confidence is about knowing yourself and being self-assured. The former is linked with insecurity and uneasiness, while the latter comes with being grounded and security. Both refer to different things.
The word overconfidence is perhaps a misconstrued word. It probably came about because confidence is often linked with an ease of expressing oneself, while arrogant/overconfident people often overly express themselves – and hence the use of the term “overconfidence” to refer to the latter group.
Coming back to the question, humility is not at odds with recognising your worth, because to recognise your worth is to know yourself, realise your worth, and to embrace it.
When you recognise your worth, you become at peace with yourself. There is no desire to show off or overly assert yourself to others, simply because there is no need to. You may talk about your achievements, but that’s out of a sincere intention to celebrate and share your joy with others, rather than to brag. Humility comes as a natural consequence to that.
On the other hand, when you don’t recognise your worth, either of the two happens – arrogance, where you adopt an ostentatious personality and put down others because you feel insecure with yourself, or reticence, where you become reserved and overly shy in the face of others. Both stem from the same root cause (insecurity), just that they are different expressions of the same issue.
So – go on out there – embrace and celebrate your natural talents freely and truly, without restraint. While you are doing that, let me think of tips that’ll help you increase your self confidence. Watch for Certain Something – Part Three: Increasing Self Confidence.